Friday, February 8, 2008

Flesh Coloured Moles On

... And suddenly the world falling apart around you.

I write this post not because I want to do it, but simply to thank those who are felt every day and I show their closeness. I apologize because often I can not answer, because it was too degraded or committed to cry on ... A week ago, my biggest problem was "I'll sign up for the master to Rome in April ?"... seems that the Lord wanted to punish my immense superficiality, and more in the worst way in which it can punish a person. I wonder what I ever could have done wrong my family to deserve all these svenuture. From what I can remember, I have never experienced a moment of serenity that has lasted more than a few months. Each year a pain, worse and worse every year. Try to be strong in these situations is almost impossible, to pretend and lie shamelessly with the individual concerned because they do not want him to suffer early, when a doctor put it in the face of reality and the choice that seems impossible to do. And suddenly you find yourself in an intensive care unit of a sudden you find yourself talking about the worst things to look for on the internet the best centers to go ... suddenly you're there, talking with thousands of physicians, to make 100 phone calls, to go back and forth ... suddenly you enroll in a course of cardiac emergency because it is better to be ready for anything ... suddenly life is hell and you feel that your life is over, that a Sunday morning has definitely taken away your carelessness, your youth and your projects ... and live in constant anguish, in constant fear that once again everything can change for the worse. Even more.
Sorry for the outburst, I do not have the strength to call everyone and explain what I feel. Thanks to those who think and thanks a thousand times more to those who are praying for me and my family.
with affection. Elisa

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Memorial Sentiments And Epitaphs

are not made to bear too much pressure ...

I realize that it is not hard cheese made of that I try miserably to show the outside. Yes, they are not granite, but soft clay ... If you press me, I blurted into the hands of Mr Didò worse than my 4 year old niece imitating the Power Rangers ... I need certainty, I need to have everything under control and to plan my life in the near future, otherwise I feel poised over the void. And do not know what will happen, but most importantly, not being able to control events, makes me intolerant and terribly emotional. I'm hurt, I know. But if this continues, sooner or later I will go crazy ... that's for sure!